Want to find out more about living and sailing on a boat with children before you commit to a change of lifestyle or find some tips and tricks you could use yourself if you already live aboard? Read on to find out how I manage it!
Robyn (29) & Dave (42) live aboard their 1989 Hallberg Rassy 42E with their baby girl Erin (1) and miniature Jack Russell, Scrappy. They’ve spent the past 3.5 years living and sailing around Northern Europe and are currently stopped in the Algarve, Portugal for winter.
Tell us a bit about yourself...
What are your names, where is home and when did you leave etc?
My name is Robyn, my fiancé is Dave and our baby girl is Erin. She’s nearly 1 year old (not entirely sure how that’s happened already!) and we all live together on our boat Asterie with our miniature Jack Russell, Scrappy.
Asterie is a 1989 Hallberg-Rassy 42E and we are currently docked in the Algarve, Portugal for winter 2020/21.
Dave and I have lived aboard a boat full-time since June 2017. We bought our first boat in Grimsby on the East coast of the UK. She was a 1974 Dufour 34 and we loved her. We spent two years sailing around Northern Europe visiting The Netherlands, France, Jersey, Cornwall and the Isles of Scilly but when we found out we were pregnant, we realised we’d need a second bedroom and more space.
We found and bought Asterie in July 2019 when we were 5 months pregnant and sailed her back to Falmouth from Eastbourne which is where we were based at the time. We left Falmouth to sail South in July 2020 when Erin was 8 months old. Over the following 2.5 months, we travelled down and explored the French, Spanish and Portuguese coastlines. Once October arrived, we settled down for winter in the Algarve. So far, it’s been a lot warmer than the UK so are happy with our decision!
Why do you choose to live this lifestyle?
We found that we were living to work, not working to live when we lived on land. Dave was having a really tough time at work and needed a break to sort his head out and I lost my Dad to a brain tumour in April 2014 which completely changed my view of the world.
Dave and I knew we wanted to travel and looked at our options which were to travel by motorbike, motorhome, by foot, by car or by boat. The only one that we wanted to actually do and that would allow us to bring along Scrappy easily was to travel by boat. Watching Sailing La Vagabonde and SV Delos sealed the deal for us.
We bought our first boat in May 2017 and moved aboard almost straight away. We’ve been living aboard and travelling around Northern Europe and the Atlantic coast of Europe ever since. It’s been really tough at times but we have no plans to go back to a ‘normal’ way of life anytime soon!
What do your friends and family think about you living and travelling on a boat?
Friends were really supportive but we faced a lot of opposition to start with from family. Part of that may have been as we had very little sailing experience so they were concerned for our safety. Another part of it I feel may have been jealousy unfortunately. It shocked us both as we really weren’t expecting the reactions we received. A lot of comments stuck with us and went pretty deep. It was another block we had to overcome to leave and start living the life we wanted to.
Did you spend much time aboard while you were pregnant?
We lived aboard throughout my pregnancy and sailed around Cornwall, the Isles of Scilly and even bought Asterie back to Falmouth from Eastbourne when I was 5 months pregnant.
Erin has adapted really well to living onboard and I think part of that may have been as she got used to the motion of the ocean while she was still inside!
How old was your baby when they moved aboard?
Erin was very nearly born onboard as everything happened so quickly. The midwives didn’t believe me when I said things were progressing fast! Luckily, we managed to make it to the hospital in time. She was born just before 6pm and we went home late the following morning so she’s lived aboard since she was about 17 hours old.
It was a cold but bright day when we arrived back at the boat, Erin was snuggled up in her car seat and tucked in with a nice, warm, cosy blanket.
She slept all the way back from the hospital and had her Daddy in the back to her to keep an eye on her. (Mummy was in the front passenger seat still recovering!)
What modifications have you had to make to your boat since your baby arrived?
To begin with, not much. We just had to get the required baby paraphernalia onboard ready for Erin’s arrival. The chart table ended up becoming a changing table once she arrived.
Since she began moving around and being able to pull herself up to standing, we’ve had to make and fit a couple of over-sized lee cloths to allow us to put her down and know she’s safe and contained. There is one in the saloon that takes encloses the starboard sofa and one in the aft cabin to stop her from falling out of bed.
Now she’s crawling around on the floor (and very nearly walking), we are talking about adding something to prevent her from being able to get into the galley or near the stairs as she has demonstrated on a few occasions now that she can easily climb onto the first step and occasionally the second!
We have flaps covering our built in sockets for when we’re plugged into a marina that Erin can lift up – they are now taped up to stop her from doing so.
We keep wires off the floor and are much better at stowing things out of sight and reach.
What pieces of equipment do you have onboard for your baby that you consider to be vital?
Her Baltic lifejacket, the oversized lee cloths, her foldable high chair, toys and books to keep her occupied. I’ve actually written a blog post for all the essential items I think you need for bringing a baby onto a boat here.
Do you have any funny stories that involve your baby you'd like to share?
Erin was very nearly born on the boat! My labour progressed really quickly to the point where I’d gone from speaking to the midwives easily to unable to speak at all within a couple of hours. Dave was trying to get through to them over the phone that it was happening quickly but I think they thought he was over-reacting as I was a first time Mum and so probably not coping very well.
As we don’t have a car and a friend would kindly be driving us to hospital when the time was right, we didn’t want to get sent away again if I wasn’t far enough along. They reluctantly sent a midwife along to the boat to examine me (and probably tell me to get a grip!). I think I was only 3 hours or so into my labour when she arrived. She was pretty chilled out and watched me while I had some contractions before asking to examine me. It was almost comical how quickly her demeanour changed. She announced I was already at 8cm and my waters were bulging. She wanted to call an Ambulance for me and said we either need to get to hospital asap or begin to prepare to give birth on the boat.
We opted to go to hospital and I was frog-marched down the pontoon while still contracting regularly! We somehow arrived at hospital with time to spare. Erin decided to take her time during the pushing stage (I think my waters were holding her in) and she arrived safely a few hours later.
How do you keep your baby occupied onboard?
We have a small box full of toys and books that we have for Erin to play with. I like laying them all out on the top of the backrest of the sofa (which is her playpen when the lee cloth is up) so she can choose what she wants to read or play with. We also spend a lot of time playing with her ourselves to try and help her development as well as giving her time to play by herself so she has chance to develop lots of skills.
What do you do with your baby while you're on passage?
We take it in turns to sit with Erin to keep her occupied. Dave mostly does the sailing side of things while I look after Erin as she settles more easily for me. I do do my share though now Erin is better at sitting with Dave. She went through a stage where she literally only wanted me which was a nightmare on passage as Dave needed a break on the longer legs. However, he could only come down when Erin was asleep and even then we had to share her sleeps out so i could get some rest too!
How does your baby cope when it gets rough?
Erin loves it when it gets rough! The rougher the better for her. I’m generally doubled over feeling sick as a pig but Erin will often be found standing up on the sofa holding onto her lee-cloth, smiling and laughing as we get rolled and tossed around. She is a crazy baby. But, I’d much rather that than a baby that gets seasick!
What are you doing to make sure your baby is able to socialise with others?
While we’re out at anchor, we go out for walks ashore as often as we can. It’s much easier to wear her in her baby carrier and it allows her to see other people, especially when facing forwards. She is fascinated by people and will often start waving at them which generally gets their attention and an interaction with them.
It’s easier now we are in the marina for winter as there are plenty of liveaboard boats nearby and a number of them have children on. We’ve made a real effort to spend time with others and happily pass Erin over for cuddles. We’ve also spent time at the beach with some of the children from other boats. They were as fascinated by her as she was by them. It was really lovely to watch them play together and see her interact together.
Have you had any surprises along the way?
I knew it was going to be hard having a baby but I didn’t realise quite how challenging it was going to be to be able to get anything done! One of us needs to be with her at all times when she’s awake which makes it difficult to get anything done that needs two pairs of hands. When she’s asleep we are both free but then we have to be really quiet so we don’t wake her.
Her timing never fails to amaze me either. She always decides to have a mini meltdown whenever we are both needed to do something important, like docking or put away the sails in rougher conditions. If it wasn’t so frustrating it would be almost comical!
What's the best thing about living onboard with a baby?
Being able to spend so much time with her and seeing her change and grow every single day. She has such an awesome little personality and I love seeing her come out of her shell more and more each day.
What's the worst thing about living onboard with a baby?
Not having any time to myself at all. It’s a struggle to find the time to just sit and chill by myself and I am the type of person that needs that time alone to reset. Being away from friends and family is tough as they are the ones that would normally come round to help and give you a break for a little bit. The cruising community are a great bunch though and they have rallied round and offered to help out with Erin as and when needed now we’re stopped in a marina for winter.
What tips and tricks have you picked up along the way to make your life easier?
Have baby safe zones on board. I made two over-sized lee cloths so I could put Erin down and know that she wouldn’t fall off the sofa or the bed. It means that I can get jobs done while keeping my eye on her. They also came in really useful on passages when we were tipped over.
What does the future hold for you?
Neither of us can see ourselves returning to land anytime soon. The thought of being stuck in one place without being able to change our scenery or neighbours doesn’t appeal at the moment. We are enjoying our freedom too much!
We are thinking about dipping into the Mediterranean next summer and hoping to cross over to the Caribbean next winter at the moment but we will see how things go with Covid. We have just received our Portuguese Residency which will allow us to stay in Portugal for the next five years so we have that to play around with too.
There is a saying with sailors that is ‘our plans are written in the sand’, and we are no different – our plans change on a daily basis!
What advice would you share with a sailing Mumma-to-be?
You have to make time for yourself for your own sanity. Boats are very small places to be and it is very easy to not do this. It may take time but if you don’t, you’ll regret it.
On a more positive note – enjoy the journey! Enjoy having the privilege of watching your children grow up on a daily basis. There are so many Mums that have to go back to work when their children are still very small that would kill to be in your position. You will never get this time back and although it may not seem it at the time, every day is precious.
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