Want to find out more about living and sailing on a boat with children before you commit to a change of lifestyle or find some tips and tricks you could use yourself if you already live aboard? Read on to find out how Jess manages it!
Jess (24) & Mike (25) live aboard their 1997 Van De Stadt Seal 36 Steel Sailing boat, ‘Christine’, with their two boys, Alfie (3) and Teddy (1). They began their journey along the South Coast of the UK in 2018 and they’re now in Wales over the winter while they continue their boat refit.
Tell us a bit about yourself...
What are your names, where is home and when did you leave etc?
We’re Mike, Jess, Alfie and Teddy and we live on our 36ft steel sailing boat, ‘Christine’. She’s a Van De Stadt Seal 36.
We’ve slowly made our way down and around the South Coast from Essex (where we brought the boat just before Alfie was born) to Wales. We went from Brighton to the Isles of Scilly in 2018 with our eldest son (who was 8 months at the time) and then sailed back to Hayling Island for winter 2019 to start the full refit.
After the first COVID lockdown was over, we sailed back along the coastline, stopping at the IOS again for short 2 weeks before crossing up to Wales. We’re aiming to finish off the boat refit and add the gear for some long distance sailing so we can hopefully head south in the next couple of years! (Sooner if we’re ready, or maybe we’ll even go north! We’re the most indecisive sailors there are!)
We’re currently moored up in Wales for Winter 2020 to finish the refit on the boat that we’ve been doing for the past 18 months.
Why do you choose to live this lifestyle?
We chose to live on the boat as we wanted our own home. I was pregnant with our eldest Alfie and still living with parents, but getting a mortgage grant while being self employed was almost impossible.
Mike has always been on boats so he spurred the move and found a fixer upper that we could smarten up for the arrival of Alfie two months later! It was hectic, but the best thing we ever did and we’re so glad now that we didn’t get caught up and tied into a mortgage and the rat race of living to work not working to live. We love the freedom of being onboard and don’t see ourselves ever back on land again. Not in the conventional way anyway.
What do your friends and family think about you living and travelling on a boat?
We had mixed opinions from friends and family about moving onboard depending on how much they actually knew / had experienced themselves of the lifestyle. It’s been a second hand learning experience for many of our family and friends and I hope it has opened up their minds to alternate lifestyles choices and ways of life!
Did you spend any/much time aboard while you were pregnant?
We brought the boat when I was 7 months pregnant with Alfie and she was stored on a hard standing. I ended up spending a couple of weeks climbing ladders to get onboard to work on her and didn’t stop working till my waters went laying carpets! (OMG!!! RH) We then found out at the end of our 2018 sailing trip in the Isles of Scilly that I was pregnant with Teddy our youngest.
We sailed the rest of the South Coast back to Hayling Island when I was 7 months pregnant again to settle in for Winter 19. So in the three years we’ve lived onboard, I’ve almost spent a third of it pregnant!
How old were your children when they moved aboard?
What modifications have you had to make to your boat to have your children onboard safely?
We’ve done an incredible amount of work and modifications to our boat in the years we’ve owned her. We have done almost a full refit (completely changing the layout) and redesigned and changed the whole rig.
We still have a lot of work to do to her to get her finished but although we’ve done all this work to improve her, it’s not about having the most immaculate, shiny boat to us. We just wanted to create a practical, go anywhere home for our family and keep the personal homely touches that give us that feeling of home.
What pieces of equipment do you have onboard for your children that you consider to be vital?
One of the most vital things we think you need to have onboard with kids is several safe places they can be whilst under sail.
When they were little they always had a Bumbo seat or any kind of strap down chair with a little food tray (of course as food and snacks to keep them occupied is very handy) for outside when we’re under sail. They never leave the cockpit, and always have a life jacket on when outside. If they want to walk around in the cockpit or sit up on the cockpit seats they are tied to a lifeline because they’re kids – they like to try to do their own thing when they think you’re not looking!
Inside we’ve always had one allocated cabin for them where they can be fully contained with a safety netting guard that they can’t get out of themselves. This is so that when we’re mooring up or if we’re both needed in an emergency situation and I can’t have my eyes on them, I know I can put them down in there with some toys and entertainment and know they’re safe and can’t get into trouble!
Other than that we have safety netting around the boat for extra mental reassurance when we’re on anchor and they want to roam the deck jacketed up. Also, I have always kept the standard things you have for kids onboard to keep them entertained: toys, games, movies etc.
Do you have any funny stories that involve your children you'd like to share?
Hmm funny/scary at the same…
When Alfie was just over a year old we were mooring up we had him tied into the cockpit on the sole with toys.
I jumped off first to take the bow line and once we were along side Mike jumped off to tie off the stern. As we were trying to pull the back of the boat in the last bit we were struggling and confused as to why she was fighting us and heading forwards pushing into the pontoons scratching up the hull on a hose stand.
Mike then realised and could just about hear the engine ticking over. He looked up into the cockpit and little Alfie had learned where the throttle lever was and moved it – ticking us into forward! I had to quickly jump on and put us in neutral so we could finish up our mooring!
It’s more of a funny story now but at the time we were more confused and shocked! This is when we realised Alfie was at the age where he was fully copying and absorbing everything we do and they’re no longer allowed in the cockpit when mooring up! Haha.
How do you keep them occupied onboard?
My boys are at an age now where they can pretty much entertain themselves and have started to play together so that’s incredibly helpful when sailing. They’re used to not being spoilt with a mad amount of toys so they’re so good at getting really stuck into a task/game or imaginative play and don’t get bored easily.
I also try to get them involved with tasks/jobs when we’re sailing to keep the long days rolling. If I’m cleaning I give them a spray bottle with water and a cloth and let them go mad thinking they’re helping me clean up the boat and they love it! Kids just want to do everything we do don’t they so I just create a child friendly version of what I’m doing and let them get stuck in! (I love this! 🙂 RH)
What do you do with your children while you're on passage?
My eldest Alfie is made for sailing! When we’re rocking about and heeling he runs about and skids across the floor like he’s at the fair. Teddy our youngest gets involved playing with Alfie and running about, but it does tend to catch up with him and he ends up sat outside being sick and feeling a bit naff for a couple of hours. There isn’t a lot I can do when he does start to feel like that apart from give him lots of cuddles and fluids. Usually he wears himself out and sleeps it off.
How do your little ones cope when it gets rough?
What are you doing to make sure your children are able to socialise with others?
We like to try and keep some stability for the boys and enjoy spending winters in marinas. This means I can go along to toddler and child groups with them so they can learn to play and socialise with other children. It’s also a good way for me to meet other mums too.
We do wonder if one day we’ll find a home town/city/place some where that we can come back to between sailing so the boys can build up familiar relationships with other children and get involved in clubs or something social.
I’ve joined several FB groups for sailing kids and families that communicate and organise meet ups based on where everyone is, so if we end up sailing further afield and never really settling, I’d definitely keep involved with all that so the boys can make friends with other kids living the same life!
What's the best thing about living onboard with kids?
The best thing for us about living onboard with the boys is the freedom and quality time is allows us to have with them! The lifestyle means we can work as little as possible to fund our plans, giving us the opportunity to spend so much more time than the average family together.
What's the worst thing about living onboard with kids?
Contradictory to the above, the hardest thing about living onboard with kids is that it’s very hard to get time out which all parents need. Sometimes I only get 5 minutes in a hectic day and being in such a small space it’s very, very hard to take yourself away to another cabin for little bit of silent headspace. I find myself in nap time often just turning everything off and cleaning or trying to wind down reading etc in as much silence as possible lol.
What tips and tricks have you picked up along the way to make your life easier?
What does the future hold for you?
The plans for our future are forever changing! We don’t know exactly where we’ll go first but we want to go everywhere!! We’re as eager to go North to the Baltic sea as we are South. We have just got to figure out timings with the boys and life in general to determine where we head first!
What advice would you share with a sailing Mumma-to-be?
My advice for any other sailing mumma-to-be is that parenting can be hard in the easiest of situations.
I actually find watching the boys and making sure they’re safe and not getting up to no good so much harder in a house where there are so many more hazards. We find it so much more rewarding living on a boat and we personally love the memories we have made across the country, and hopefully one day, in places around the world with the boys.
They have experienced things that the average adult wouldn’t ever get the opportunity to, and the lifestyle teaches them so many life skills that kids don’t learn anymore and mentally they’ll grow to be so tough.
Like most parents in the world, you just want your children to be happy and healthy, and as a parent you give them your idea of the best life you you can.
Find out more...
I hope you enjoyed reading this interview and finding out more about living on a boat with children.
If you’d like to find out more about Jess and follow her on her journey, you can follow her on Instagram.